10 Part Skill

  Listening as a 10 Part Skill was an interesting read. I liked that they took the issues people typically have when listening and broke them down into manageable, simple paragraphs. I particularly liked "Find an area of interest", "Listen for ideas", and "Keep an open mind". I often find that if I can somehow relate what somebody is saying to something interesting then what they say tends to stick in my brain a little better, so I definitely agree with "Find an area of interest". "Listen for ideas" stood out to me because I realized I'm the type of person that gets hung up on trying to remember specifics and as a result I end up missing out on large portions of the rest of what the person is saying. Lastly, "Keep an open mind" was one of my favorites because I personally come across a plethora of people with this problem of not being able to set aside their own opinions in order to listen to others' opinions.

On a side note, I thought the pictures that went with each part were cute and painted a nice picture of each of the listening problems. :)

Nonlistening

  I tend to engage in pseudolistening and selective listening. I often find my self having a conversation with a friend and realizing that I've been going through all the motions of the conversation (nodding my head, the occasional "mhmm") but not actually paying attention to any of what she was saying. I would end up fading back into the conversation not remembering anything about what she was talking about, and my friend would be staring at me waiting for my response to a question she must have asked. I just end up staring back with nothing to say until she realizes that I wasn't really listening, leaving us both dissatisfied with my listening.
Other times I end up being a selective listener. This happens most often with my mom, and results in her upset with me later for not remembering to clean the litter box, my absolute least favorite activity, because I never really heard her say that she wanted me to in the first place.
The best way for me to solve these problems would probably be to mindful and listen actively, as our text suggests at the end of the chapter.

Hate Speech

One thing I didn't know about hate speech was that there are bans on it in certain countries. I felt kind of silly not realizing it, because obviously not every country is exactly like us, but it still took me by surprise. Especially the fact that Canada has a ban on gay and lesbian speech.
Personally, I think it would be wrong to put limits on our freedom of speech. While it does get out of hand sometimes, hate speech being a great example, it would still be fundamentally wrong since it violates our constitutional rights. Bans on hate speech could lead to people trying to find loop-holes in other people's expressions of opinion by calling it hate speech. And who are we if we can't communicate our ideas and opinions? 
I think the best, most effective way to try to get rid of hate speech would be to put a stigma on it. We, as a whole, react to the opinion of the generalized other. So, if it were a known fact that hate speech was socially disgraceful, I think the amount of hate speech would significantly decrease. However this could not be a small stigma. I believe people would have to demonstrate utter disgust and repulsion for hate speech to really go away.

Metaphors in American Society

My fifth grade teacher always talked to us about how "this country isn't a big melting pot." For a while I was confused about why she was so frustrated by this phrase. In all honesty I'm pretty sure I didn't even know what the phrase meant until she spelled it out.
"They shouldn't call it a big melting pot," she said, "we're not melting into each other, we're all unique. Nobody should feel like they have to look or act a certain way to fit in here. If you ask me, we're a giant salad bowl. Because in a salad the ingredients and their flavors don't just blend into one taste, they combine and compliment each other. Each bite is a little different, unique every time."
At such a young age I still didn't fully grasp what my teacher was trying to say, but I knew that what she was saying hit home with me somehow. Looking back, I'm inspired by her words and the truth that they hold. Because of my teacher I grew up seeing the world as a salad bowl, not expecting everyone to be just like me, and hoping that no one would expect me to be just like them.

2. Identify a Relationship

One relationship of mine that has definitely become closer over time is my relationship with my boyfriend. When we first met I only knew him as a friend of a friend. He was a senior in high school and I was a sophomore. It started out with casual hellos, acknowledging the other's existence, and maybe a brief conversation here and there. So it was definitely I-You communication: we acknowledged each other as humans but the only role he played in my life was "friend of a friend" and we didn't share anything on a personal level.

Eventually, after several short conversations we found out that we had the same taste in music. So that sparked a bit of interest for the both of us, but aside from talking about music our conversations still seemed to mostly revolve around small talk and insignificant topics.

Then, at one point, the subject of fathers came up; a sensitive subject for us both. After uncovering the fact that we both had MIA dads, our "fields of experience" started to merge more and more. We ended up exchanging numbers and the flow of information took off from there.

Three years later we're now in a committed relationship. We talk about pretty much anything and everything with the exception of our fathers since we've already talked about that and neither of us care to relive it. As far as shared fields of experience go, it seems that the more time we've spent together creating memories, finding new things that interest us, and sharing our pasts the closer our fields of experience merge.

1. Linear vs. Interactive Models of Communication

In linear models, communication is described as a one-way interaction in which a speaker talks to a passive listener. The model shows communication as a series of actions: the speaker delivers the message, the listener receives the message, and the message is interpreted.
The interactive model differs from the linear in the sense that it depicts the listener responding to the message rather than just receiving the information. This model also introduces the idea that, when communicating, people operate within "fields of experience". When these fields overlap, greater understanding of one another is found, while the lack of fields overlapping generates confusion.
In my own experience I've found that fields of experience can significantly affect interactions. Over the summer I worked at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. as a host and part of my job was to make conversation with the customers. A lot of the time I found that if I talked about broad areas of interest it was easier to interact with them, but when we talked about more specialized or specific topics we had in common the more enjoyable it was to talk to them.

Intro

Hi everybody,

     My alias is Allison, you can call me Alli for short. I'm originally from Monterey, CA and I'm now a freshman here at SJSU. I don't have any experience in communication studies, but this semester I'm taking this class as well as a public speaking class (Comm 20). I'm currently Undeclared, but I want to go into Graphic Design. My goal in this class is to learn anything I can about how we communicate with each other because I find the idea of it to be fascinating.
     I think this will be a fun and engaging class and I can't wait to see how it goes. :)