Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Nonlistening
I tend to engage in pseudolistening and selective listening. I often find my self having a conversation with a friend and realizing that I've been going through all the motions of the conversation (nodding my head, the occasional "mhmm") but not actually paying attention to any of what she was saying. I would end up fading back into the conversation not remembering anything about what she was talking about, and my friend would be staring at me waiting for my response to a question she must have asked. I just end up staring back with nothing to say until she realizes that I wasn't really listening, leaving us both dissatisfied with my listening.
Other times I end up being a selective listener. This happens most often with my mom, and results in her upset with me later for not remembering to clean the litter box, my absolute least favorite activity, because I never really heard her say that she wanted me to in the first place.
The best way for me to solve these problems would probably be to mindful and listen actively, as our text suggests at the end of the chapter.
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Hi Allison!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I can agree with pretty much all of the forms of non-listening. I feel like I engage in all of them sometime or another. But its so true how if we are preoccupied with something or are mind is wandering we tend to just give those that "uh huh" type of response. I have an issue with defensive listening and taking what everyone says personally. Its such a bad habit so like you mentioned; active listening is probably the best solution to a lot of these listening issues. If we really listened to others we wouldn’t get ourselves in trouble!
I agree with you! It happens a lot to me when I am with my friends. I would just stare at them and they would stare at me. After, a moment of silence they will be like, "Dude, did you even listen what did I say?" I will be like, "NO, sorry". I have this internal obstacle problem like book discusses because I am always in process of thinking about my class homework and to get it done on time. Also, your post about mother being upset with you just cracked me up. Don't take me wrong because it happens to me and results are absolutely same, my mom gets really upset. Then at the end I have to complete the task she gave me to cheer her up.
ReplyDeleteSelective listening happens to the best of us. I'll be talking to a boy that I am crushing on and I do not pay any mind to what he's talking about, only the things I feel are important are compliments and facts about his self. Sounds a bit weird, but that's just how it goes for me. Regardless of the relationship, I will always let things go from one ear, right out the other.I'm learning to be just as mindful as I am open hearted and not as selfish. I'm sure people want me to listen to them just as much as I want them to listen to me.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI am often finding myself in the same position as you. My communication is like an episode of Charlie Brown. I often hear people speaking, but all I hear is “wah wah wah”. It is ironic that I am a communication major, yet I often do acts that restrict the actual idea of communication as a whole. If I am not receiving the message then I am wasting the time of my teacher, other students, and myself. My job as a student is to engage myself and other students. I wonder how my interaction with the class shapes how the class goes. I often find that the class’s tat I am disengaged from are typically my worst grades. I wonder if this is the case for most students?
It makes me laugh because I also do the same thing with my friends. Sometimes when we are all out late together and sleepiness has kicked in, I result in pseudolistening because I appear to be listening but in reality, I'm focused on other things like sleeping and being on my bed resting. I also nod my head and occasionally laugh when I see everyone else is laughing but I definitely don't know what's really going on. They do not mind that I sometimes do this though, because they understand I am really just tired and that's why I try to be a better listener when I have energy early in the day to make up for my pseudolistening.
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