Personally, I've never experienced a relationship that had commitment but not love. However, there was a relationship (if you can even call it that) where I was very much in love with a guy and was completely committed to making it work, but he didn't see "us" the same way I did. We liked each other a lot and I eventually fell in love with him, although I'm not sure if he ever really loved me. He was hung up on his last girlfriend and would keep telling me that he just needed a little more time before he would be able to be in a relationship again. He led me on with that same line for almost an entire year, and I was so blinded by my feelings and devotion that I never realized he had no intention of committing to me. I eventually came to see that we were never going to work out and severed ties with him, although it was incredibly hard to let go. Even though that experience was over 3 years ago it still hurts to think about it because I put my faith in him that he would come through and he completely shattered it.
Conversely, I have experienced a couple relationships that had love but no commitment. One of them was with my last boyfriend, who I dated for about 5 months during my junior year of high school. We loved each other very much but neither of us were really committed to making it a long term relationship. There would be talk of future plans but never anything too far into the future. Whenever the topic of college came up we tried to avoid it. We never said things like, "We should do this next Christmas," or anything that implied being together for longer than a few months. Although the end of our relationship was technically because he cheated on me, I believe that this lack of commitment was probably what led to him being unfaithful in the first place. He couldn't see our relationship lasting that long and therefore probably had less of a problem with doing something that could cause the end of our relationship.
These two relationships were incredibly hurtful and frustrating for me and caused me to lose faith in relationships for quite some time. Any time I was interested in somebody I would get this nagging thought in the back of my head that they would eventually just betray me. Eventually I met my current boyfriend though, and after a very gradual and steady process of learning to trust him I've come to see that not all relationships go wrong and that sometimes you just need to wait it out, and test the waters before you go and jump right in.
I am so happy to hear that your relationship has become better than your last. Relationships are always hard to deal with especially the emotional side of it. When you are in a relationship with a significant other there are a lot of things that you must be very open about. The fact that one of your ex's was hung up on his previous girlfriend just shows that he was not emotionally stable to be in another relationship. Letting go of someone who you are emotionally close with might be hard but you need to realize that things happen for a reason. Although that relationship did not work out, i wish you the best of luck in your new one.
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