One of the topics in the advice forum was "More That Friends? What should you do when you have romantic feelings for a friend?". I had trouble finding any threads that weren't some sort of ad for a purse or boots (which was rather strange), but I did find a poem that exemplifies the turmoil of the heart that results from unrequited love in a friendship.
For You, My Love.
by Ryan Putland
Never will I understand,
Why my love, denies my hand.
What pain, what suffering have you endured?
With my help, can you be cured?
My thoughts, my dreams, you're always there,
When will you see how much I care?
Such little time I've spent with you,
Enough to know my love is true.
The further you drift away from me,
The more I feel I'll never be free.
Perhaps I should just let you go,
Your love maybe, I should not know?
My love and friendship is always here,
And if you should ever shed a tear,
My arms are here to hold you tight,
For I will always be your light.
Wood explains that "sexual undertones may ripple beneath the surface of friendships" (pg. 262) but that there are ways to effectively confront this type of tension within a friendship. First of all, it is important to use I language to make sure that we are taking full responsibility for our emotions. Second, we must listen sensitively and communicate supportively in order to keep the friendship intact.
From my own experiences, I've noticed that, more often than not, when sexual tension arises in a friendship in can either blossom into a wonderful relationship, or completely ruin the friendship due to the fact that one friend typically has feelings while the other doesn't. The reason this tends to lead to a failing friendship is that the friend that has the feelings can no longer remain satisfied with the relationship staying at a "friend" level. Their needs end up exceeding what the friend that doesn't have any feelings for the other can meet.
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